How To Eat To Live, Not to Die: Simple Scientific Approach To Foods that Prevent and Reverse Disease for Longer Life
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It is 2023 and I am 58 years old. In 1987 at 22 years of age I became injured and have lived in unremitting physical pain every single day since then – for the last 36 years. I hope you manage to get through today all right. I don’t know what your marriage is like, or what your husband is like, but I can imagine that the trauma of having been sexually abused as a child would likely have made being in a relationship more complicated, to say the least.
I have no regrets and no will to go on, my run was just objectively a mistake from the start, and there’s nothing wrong for me to call it. It’s not just a passing feeling, it’s not irrational, it doesn’t need other people’s sympathy. Sometimes I stop talking midsentence – I just don’t have the energy to care about everyday human things. There’s no point. I’m glad that your medication is helping, anyway. (At times when I’ve had to take daily doses of psychiatric meds, they just had adverse side-effects like weight-gain without helping me mentally.) But suffering the side-effects like being exhausted is tough to deal with.All of my family had moved away, and now the ones that stayed in touch with me are dead. I feel like everybody leaves me so there must be something wrong with me.
After 50 years of feeling anguished, ashamed and disgusted because of events I had no control of, I am free of them. For 50 years I’ve been carrying this load and when things shifted, I could actually feel in my shoulders, the weight drop off. Well, I gotta tell you that it’s all true. Life can turn around. We do each have a gift that is ours alone to give. There are people in our lives who do love us to the extent that they would be devastated if we abandoned them by taking ourselves out of their lives.
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Please, talk with somebody about how you’re feeling. Sharing your thoughts with a trusted friend, family member, teacher, doctor, minister or other person (or people) serves two purposes: One, they can try to help you. Two, you may not feel so alone. Technically speaking, the term “passive suicidal thoughts” is an oxymoron. The very meaning of suicide is the intentional act of killing oneself. How can someone be suicidal if they don’t want to die by suicide?